Open letter to my Doctors
Dear Gynecologists A & B,
I know you see hundreds of patients every year — women with stories of heavy, painful periods. I was one of them.
Our very first appointment ended with a scheduled surgery — an ablation of my uterus and removal of my tubes — to give me some relief. The imaging had shown a large fibroid in my uterus, and the painful, heavy periods were just not sustainable. Given that I had completed my family and was 39, this plan made sense.
After my first surgery, you diagnosed me with Stage 4 Endometriosis, Adenomyosis, and “kissing ovaries”. You explained that it involved my uterus, bowel, and bladder, and that during surgery you were only able to separate a partial amount of my organs — it was just too much.
At our follow-up, you showed me images of my organs completely covered in endometriosis. We agreed to monitor things and see how it went.
When Things Got Worse
Eighteen months later, my pain was still concerning, so I made another appointment to discuss options. But COVID-19 lockdowns made everything harder — delaying the help I desperately needed.
When I finally saw you again, you asked if I had private health insurance. I said no. You then handed me a prescription for the pill, saying it was the best option for now. But it wasn’t. It would not have helped my quality of life at all.
I left your rooms furious — and determined to take control. That day (April 2021), I began researching private health options.
The Breaking Point
In October 2021, I had a large ovarian cyst rupture on my right side. A month earlier, my appendix had ruptured — later found to be caused by endometriosis infiltration. I went straight to Knox Private, where I was connected with another gynecologist.
He scheduled a diagnostic laparoscopy and discovered extensive endometriosis, adenomyosis, and PCOS, with my bladder and bowel involved again. Afterward, he suggested a full hysterectomy, but first wanted me to inject myself with a $300-per-month drug for three months to shrink the endo cells. It would plunge me into menopause to make surgery easier.
When I said I didn’t want to go into menopause, his response was:
“What’s a couple of hot flushes?”
My gut screamed this was wrong. So I searched for a second opinion — and typed into Google:
“Best endo surgeon Melbourne.”
Finding the Right Doctor
That search led me to Dr. S My appointment was the following Tuesday.
I walked into his office expecting, once again, not to be heard. But after explaining my journey, he looked at me and said:
“I’m so sorry it’s taken you this long to find me.”
At that moment, I broke down.
He added:
“It would have been so simple for your original gynecologist to refer you to me. We wouldn’t be in this situation now.”
For the first time, I felt truly seen and heard.
Dr. S reviewed my scans and recommended a full pelvic clean-out. He immediately booked me in for January 18, 2023, and gave me scripts to keep me comfortable while I waited. He also referred me to a colorectal surgeon and for an in-depth ultrasound before surgery.
Those six months of waiting were tough — I found myself in the emergency room more often than I’d like. One ER gynecologist even told me that my endo would “resolve over time.”
OMG.
The Turning Point
Finally, surgery day arrived. I told Simon that I was done — I didn’t want any more surgeries — so to take it all, including my ovaries. That decision plunged me into surgical menopause, but that’s a story for another time.
The best part? I woke up from a four-hour surgery with zero endo pain — and that was the best feeling in the world.
What I’ve Learned
This journey taught me some powerful lessons:
Advocate for yourself. No one else will do it like you can.
Get basic private health insurance. It’s worth it — it covers endometriosis.
Trust your gut. If something feels wrong, it probably is.
Know your specialist. If you’re sitting in a gynecologist’s waiting room and see pregnant patients — they’re not an endo specialist. Leave immediately.
Leave your Ovaries if they are healthy . Menopause is fucked!
Hysterectomy is not always the answer.
Get Eductaed about your condition and what other side effect you should be aware of.
My Hope
My hope is that ER doctors, GPs, and gynecologists are better educated to refer women to the right specialists sooner.
Through The Shebie Foundation, I’ve found strength in sharing my story. We’re building a space where women are heard, believed, and valued in every conversation about their health.
So, to all gynecologists, GPs, and emergency room doctors — I write this not in anger, but in hope.
That one day, every woman who walks into a clinic will be met with care that listens first and refers second.
Because too often, it’s the same story: women feeling unheard, dismissed, and taught to normalize their pain.
Disclaimer
This blog post reflects a personal health experience and is shared for awareness and advocacy purposes only. It is not medical advice. Every individual’s medical situation is unique, and you should always consult a qualified healthcare professional before making any decisions about your health or treatment.
